I opened my eyes and the ceiling painted reality......

I woke up sad. A dream - It made me face reality. I haven't really forgiven him.

Last night i had a dream. The scenes were the least of things i would want to remember. It's like a memory that I try to erase from my head. It all went back. The kid who suffered a sad childhood. Battered, not a word to defend that kid. That kid who hid the reasons, kept all by himself. Fighting back was never an option. It's a struggle to let it out. All the pictures came back. As painful as it had happened before. I still feel the pain but now without tears.

How can I forget. How can I ever forgive if forgiveness is not asked? If i haven't even felt that he felt guilty for what he caused. Twenty four years and still unsure if he had accepted. Yet, I never needed acceptance.

I opened my eyes and the ceiling painted reality.

Dad, i haven't really forgiven you. It is very tough because the pain you caused is overwhelming....overcoming. For what reason that drove me far, it was what you've done in the past that never healed. One without closure.