A Dose of My Own Pill

Curiosity gone too far. This is what I’ve done in the past week. I’m not proud of what I did but good to know what people get from it. I pause everytime I remember what happened weeks ago….To gasp for air to breathe like gasping for hope….to be thankful to look back and realize the value of life.

The happy pill is what they call it. Off I went to a friend I haven’t seen for a long time. Curiosity satisfied but more than this is a bag full of realization. For a moment there was a thin line between life and death, reality and the surreal. I cried…I saw my life flashed before me. Everything is happening forward and rewind like a cycle and I suddenly felt what it meant to be a lost soul. My memories turned to episodes flashing like a movie clip. I snapped and woke up and finding myself back to where I was. Dejavu….this already happened but why can’t I get out of it. I tried to regain my conscious ground but it’s as if I was looking for my own body and yes….I thought I was dead. As soon as I got out of there, I headed to a friend’s place to seek comfort and help. I saw patches of places I’ve been to and could not decide because I was waiting for the scene to change to the existent.

I know I’ve hurt a couple of people for my unbecoming and again I told them I was never proud of what happened. Waking up the next day is like flipping a page from a story I created. The choices I chose which made me lose some and gain some. Looking back is telling myself there is no chance this would happen but it already did. There is a lesson waiting from every curiosity that had gone too far. Only, that it might have been too late to learn the lesson.