Friday, October 31, 2008

Burrying Reminiscence

If you would like to bury something, (I wish it could be someone!) what would it be?

A day before Halloween, I thought of the past years and how we celebrated the 1st day of November. It used to be a reunion. My relatives would go home to the province and we’ll have a get together. We’d talk of anything and walk our way home from the cemetery when the sun sets. It’s also the time of day to visit my old folks and it’s such a great feeling when you know they missed you.

Today, I decided to just stay and not go home. The last time I went home was Christmas. I can’t even remember the place where I grew up.

“Sometimes you have to forget something in the past to show people that you’re getting along even without them.” Not everyone of us will have someone to pick us up when things don’t turn out the way we want them to be and as they say the world doesn’t stop and wait for us.

As people light candles today, I bury the memories that I wouldn’t want to remember. I lay to rest people who have caused nothing but just pain, people who I thought cared, emotions that burdened and haunted me, friends that made me walk the path alone, faces that reminded me of bitterness, people that you expected but never existed.

Spirits are like sad thoughts and bitter memories. They tend to haunt you when you’re on your weakest. So when they come, never let them overpower you. Just send them all back in the grave.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

sonnet of a son

I am breaking the cycle. The habitual process of pain I never thought you’d cause.

It’s not that I couldn’t endure it but I just don’t want to be part of your insensitive world. It’s a circle of disappointments and I need to leap out of this circle… to finally show you what it meant to be me. The road we travelled together ends here. I wish to forget your existence. The most painful part of letting go is still hoping that you would be there and finding out that you never did, falling into false expectations of hope. I thank you for the short lived memory of happiness that turned into dark representations of you. I am leaving the place I once called home. I am running away from the shadows of your suppressing hands. I am bending the bars of the cell you created for you never own me. I am running away and crossing the borders of your vicious torment.

I am running away…..to be free.