The Letter

Look at us. We've gone too close too far. We've fought and hated each other and yet here we are supporting each other. I guess this proves that everything happens for a reason. But no matter what the circumstances are, you know where you can always run to. It's not always that you meet someone and find comfort. I wanted to tell you things are going to be fine but I know your heart is not so trusting because I can feel your fears.

If I question myself why I am doing this, it's probably because of the absence of a family. I've always longed to be needed and find a place to belong and now perspectives have changed. I don't have to look for someone to be needed. I guess that, it is the other way around. Me looking for someone who needs comfort when a friend is down. Then this changed the concept of a family in my head. That I can always consider anyone a family when they think of me when the world is against them and remembered that I am going to be there till the end.

If you are my friend, don't worry that I may walk away for it is not of my character to leave. Life is a matter of acceptance, moving on and making the most of what you have. Unfortunate things doesn't make us less of a person. This makes us appreciate life so that we may drew strength from waking up each day and see things that others can't.

An old advice that mattered just now...

We fight like cats and dogs. The words we spoke cuts through within and leaves scars unmended. It rekindles sadness and pain every time.

Twenty five years of being alone, finally she spoke to me and for the first time her words mattered and were appreciated. This afternoon, she walked in with an unsolicited advice. Not like the usual practice of a sermon, which I dare not listen to most of the time, this time what she said felt comforting. It’s the most comforting advice I got from her that made me understand the reasons behind why she won’t stay and why she seemed aloof in divulging her emotions.

The words that pierced through before suddenly became comforting. Yes, she made a good explanation stressing her points. I couldn’t look at her because I know at any time I would cry and I don’t want her to cry. I sit still on my bed with teary eyes, quietly. She said, “Whatever you’re going through right now, be thankful. Be thankful for a nice place you’re staying in, for a good work and for the reason that you are alive. As much as I would want to think of you everyday, I am also helping those who have helped me before. The blessing that I got is because I know how to remember and look back and give. If I think of your condition, I would be crying everyday. But I am old, I’m not even sure if I will go pass my fifties.”

She just had a lump removed month’s ago. She told me she was diagnosed with another today. And I know she will be going through another operation one of these days. Just formulating I think that she has the “C.” Last Sunday’s message from the pastor was about cancer. He said, “Lucky are those who have been suffering because they know how to appreciate things in life.” All that really matter is that we are here and there are lots of things to be thankful for.

Thanks, Mom…In the end I know it’s still gonna be us.